Return of the Christ

New Flower of the Dawn
Reclaiming a Life of Joy
Living My Soul’s Desire
Lighting up Cornwall
Road to Freedom
Darcelle's Story
Portal of Peace
Personal Empowerment
Healing an Ancient Wound
New Birth in Bethlehem
The Garden of Eden
Buddhist Japan
The Return of the Goddess
The Call to Awaken
Uluru Gathering
Connection with the Rock
Journey Home
Grace & God’s Firewood
Transformation in Bali
Life in Costa Rica

Moving into Personal Empowerment

I first met Abdy in Jerusalem. We were each members of a group of fifty who had travelled to Israel at the timing of the Harmonic Concordance of November 2003. I was there as an extension of my commitment to the work of Jeshua Ben Joseph (Jesus), in particular his teachings as given through his channel Jon Marc Hammer. In a private reading with Jeshua months before, I had been told this journey was occurring for several reasons, including the return to Jerusalem of many who had been there with Jeshua in his lifetime in Judea. The trip was meant to be for the purpose of bringing up and healing trauma they had experienced in those days, as well as for re-establishing these ancient relationships again in this time, and for helping to bring an energy of Light and love to the region.

I mention this as the commitment to bringing up and healing trauma, for myself and the group, was central to my mindset as I entered into the comfortable function room at the Kibbutz by the Sea of Galilee for my first Session with Abdy. We had been informed earlier in the day by the tour leader Jon Marc Hammer that Abdy would be hosting a Session, anchoring the Christ energy, and he had recommended attending in the strongest possible terms. I entered in a sullen, angry mood, deep in an unhealed pattern of feeling unloved that had come up for me on the trip, so I was bringing a lot of my own feeling into the Session. I wanted to avoid the Session in one way, yet was committed to Jeshua and myself to go through anything that surfaced at this time. One of the things I have learned from this work is that I need to bring up and embrace all my feelings, that doing so is what heals. I entered the circle.

I initially volunteered to aid Abdy by ‘catching’ others who he chose to lay down first. I immediately felt engaged, as if this was a totally familiar and enjoyable work for me. After a time, he pointed to me, and touched my heart and head. I fell back as another caught me, and I was laid to the floor. I moved into a new awareness, a more personal focus returned, and my inward process began.

My anger at feeling unloved came back, and a sense of never being able to join with that which I love most, in a general way, with God, brought up a deeper anger and desolation. This grew until I started repeating, "God, I hate you and your stupid meaningless Creation" over and over, over and over, for what I would now guess was about twenty minutes (I have learned in this work of bringing up feeling, to heal it, that God will support me no matter how projective and angry I get at times!). As I fell deeper into a feeling of emptiness, my anger extended to the seeming meaninglessness of the story of why I was there, why we were all there on the trip. A sense of massive space and time came over me, and the apparent insignificance of any story related to my life or that of those around me, of Jeshua and his life and work, of all of it, came crashing in.

I reached out for help, to the Holy Spirit, to Jeshua, though nothing stopped for long my headlong flight into the nothingness, the meaninglessness. I called upon Ruth, Jeshua’s sister, who represented to me love, that love which I was seeking. She came and whispered, “Beloved” repeatedly in my ear. I stood there with her and Jeshua, and we knew the momentum would not be contained. They made a clear statement that we stood together as equals, and then I went past them, into the nothingness. My ‘guardians’ could not stop my momentum into emptiness.

I came into my feelings of pain, of rejection and of desire – a desire to join with and feel loved by a specific member of the Jerusalem group. Feeling desolate, I repeated their name to myself over and over again for what I would guess was twenty minutes or more. The energy between us finally merged in a spiritual joining, and I felt the oneness we shared, the creative oneness. I had accomplished my supposed goal. I felt no barrier to the joining, I felt loved and accepted by them. This is when I would have guessed the journey would end. And yet still, to my surprise, I continued onwards into the void, as if flying ahead into a darkness, not a fearful darkness, but an emptiness, like a great endless boredom of reality, so complete that fear or any emotion would likely have been welcome as a sign of life. I continued moving on.

After a time, a sort of welcoming room filled with Light appeared up ahead, and I thought, “How boringly predictable, I will not go there.” I stopped, hovering in the emptiness, now completely empty again, nothing connecting with me, nothing ahead. I have a subtle remembrance of then being hugged by my son and connecting with him, and while I remember it now, it did not change my mindset at the time, my dedication to looking clearly at the meaninglessness of it all. I hovered in it, and then, to the right, a word appeared. It was ‘LIFE’. I realized that, despite all the meaninglessness, all the ‘stories’, which had no real significance, despite all the pain and seeking and dissatisfaction, I realized that I wanted this. I wanted ‘Life’, and I was able to simply thank God for it, a gratitude I repeat now as I write this.

“Thank you God for Life, thank you for MY Life”.

The feeling of anger and meaninglessness changed, though only subtly. I felt utterly exhausted in my depths, and I wanted anything but to get up, to return to the world of ‘stories’, and it was a long time before I did. Many hands had been working on me by this point, sending love, and I had resisted coming back until my experience was complete. “Thank you now, to all those out there, who I did not really thank as much as I might have at the time.”

While the impact of the Session stayed with me as a sense of disruption and some fear for a while, subsequent Sessions (4 or 5 so far) have resolved this and moved well beyond, and in them I now have a sense of deepening peace, healing and alignment. Immediately after the Session, it was only with Abdy I felt a connection as to what had occurred. I said to him that it was good working together again, something that just came out as we had not worked together before, at least in this life! He asked all of us who had been in the Session one sentence to say, and mine I felt deeply, "We will not stop until Christ's work is done."

So be it. Blessings to all.

I wrote this account of my first Session prior to a reading with Jeshua, which I had in October of 2004. In it I asked about Abdy's work, and he spoke of the work in general, and about my first Session in particular. He mentioned that one aspect of the skill Abdy yields is the ability to ‘knock down the cellar doors’ of anyone who is keeping up a blockage, keeping healing from coming to the ‘cellar’ of their mind, to the fear filled, unhealed patterns deep within. In the case of my first Session, he referred to it as cleaning out a side closet in the corner of the cellar.

The result for me is that I have become more comfortable coming forward fully into the service I am choosing in my life, to coming out of this closet as it were! Feeling empowered within myself, with my own surrender to the Holy Spirit, not simply deferring to Jeshua or others, and being willing to come forward and make this spiritual work / play / teaching / learning the major part of my life, with confidence, has been a major result of this Session, I believe.

Thank you Abdy, with love,



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